There's this bloke right, and he's called Anthony Hopkins, and he's got the
family business because his old man has dropped off the perch. He goes off on
holiday to Israel with a mate called James Bond (but not that one, the one
no-one remembers that isn't an Aussie).
Halfway there (they must have gone on a real cheap flight or something) James
Bond gets on a different plane and goes home, yeah? He turns up at Tone's
joint and buys his favorite gaff off of the brother Nigel who is house
sitting. The brother is a right little toerag who was daddy's golden boy and
he's running the old firm while Tone is on holiday.
Then Tone goes and gets himself banged up (airrage probably - he was a bit of
a nutter) in Australia or somewhere and doesn't find out about all this until
he gets out. When he gets home, he goes ballistic, gets a gang of mates, and
does some serious head kicking. Only takes him a couple of hours and he's got
his feet up in front of the telly. Bish bash bosh, lovely job.
Then he goes and pegs it and Nige the toad gets the whole deal - lock stock
and barrel. Couple of years later there's a turf war kicks off what's really
been going for ages ever since Peter O'Toole (that's the dad) married the
James Bond bloke's old man's ex. She was a seppo called Katherine Hepburn.
So James Bond, yeah, rocks up with a bunch of mates at Tone's old gaff what
Nige has now got but isn't at coz he is off taking care of business in Notts
Forest (he spent loads of time giving some grief to Douglas Fairbanks, who
sometimes looked like Kevin Costner). Takes him a year hanging around outside
and shouting and chucking stuff about before he gets the keys. Turns out all
to be a waste of time, because he didn't like the place much, and ends up
giving it to a different mate who was the Italian geezer who was actually
running the show.
History eh? You gotta concentrate.
Simon
For the terminally confused, this might help.
No comments:
Post a Comment